Great Letter to a bank

I thought you might like this.
A 96-Year-Old's Letter to the Bank

Shown below is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by a 96-year-old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire income, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years.

You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant
financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, prerecorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.

Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the
mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.

As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press the buttons as follows:
1. To make an appointment to see me.
2. To query a missing payment.
3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computers required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorized Contact.
8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the
attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting
music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.
May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year.

Your Humble Client

(Remember: This was written by a 96-year-old woman.
You go Girl!!!)

Good day to all

I had a wonderful day yesterday. It was in fact my birthday as I previously indicated and everything went according to plan. Although I thought I would have a hard time turning 25, it came and went very painlessly. I went home for supper, my mom made my favourite bean casserole and my favourite mash potatoes and I cooked us up some phenomenal steaks. To top off the evening, my dad let me pick out any bottle of wine I wanted out of the cellar and I picked a 1990 Portuguese Cabernet Sauvignon. It was possibly the most delicious wine that has ever passed my lips.

It’s hard to come down from a great day like that. Ummm hmmm.

Thanks to all who phoned me with warm birthday wishes, and all who didn't, you can go to .... have some cake at your convenience. (or something like that).

Cheers

Was Sam courageous?

I have been reading Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (and I watched it the other night too). I’ve read it many times before, but I just love the way that Tolkien reads. He has a phenomenal ability to write.

I reached the part where Frodo, Sam and Gollum are just entering into the secret passage into Mordor and Gollum sabotages Sam while the Hobbits slept. He threw away their only food supply and then blamed Sam, claiming that ‘The fat hobbit ate all the bread.’ Sam knew that Gollum was trying to betray the hobbits, but Sam couldn’t get Frodo to see… Frodo ended up sending Sam home, telling him that he didn’t’ want him to continue on the quest.

Poor Sam, travelling all that way to be betrayed by his best friend. Someone he cared for so much, they had gone through so much together, and he was discarded so easily. Tolkien writes this so well. I can relate to the fat hobbit, it feels horrible to be rejected.

But Sam had courage. If I could describe courage as something, I would describe it as simply doing the right thing. Not only that, but it is doing the right thing when it is difficult to do so. This means that, someone can do the right thing and still be petrified with fear. Having courage means doing the right thing although the odds of failure, rejection, etc. are stacked against you. I think Sam had tremendous courage because he doubled back for his friend.

It makes us wonder how many of us will be like Sam. Ideally, we all say that we will be by our friends’ side, that we would always double back for our buddies. But how many of us would actually be there for the ones that we love when the chips are down? How many of us would stick by our friends, no matter the consequences, and how many would leave those we love twisting in the wind?

I hope that’s a question that I never have answered. When it comes to integrity, it is a rare quality, and many who claim to possess it, clearly do not and many whom we think have none, do possess it. Unfortunately, it is a quality that is only revealed in extreme circumstances.

A person’s true identity only shines through when the chips are down, when things are not going according to plan. When life is good, it’s difficult to measure a person’s merit, but when life is the shits, and it seems like nothing is going right, it is very easy to measure a person. It is these times when we are allowed to see who people really are, when they are faced with adversity.

I pray to God that I have been given the wisdom to recognise these instances and that I make the correct measurements of worth, and I pray that I may measure up the way I have been raised, to be honest, faithful, courteous, to forgive and of course to love as we were meant to.

Boyhood is complete

Today is my final day of being a young man. I spent it watching the Grey Cup, to which I would like to congratulate the Eskimos on a game well played. I was cheering for Montreal, well, mostly because I’m a Bomber fan and I didn’t want Edmonton to win. I stuffed my face with good wine, nice appetizers and some damn good Chinese food. It was a good day.

Tomorrow I turn 25. I will be a quarter Century old. I don’t really know how to take that. I don’t feel much older, but I feel a lot older (I know, I don’t make any sense…) I tend not to go out and party as much as I once did, and I seem to lose interest in the things that preoccupied me when I was younger.

I pray that God will bless these next 25 years as he has the last 25 years. They have been spectacular and I wouldn’t change them for the world. All in all, even though I may regret some of the stupid things that I have done, and wish that some things may have gone differently in my life, I know that I have had a wonderful life and I owe gratitude to God for giving me so many blessings.

Is bosom a dirty word?

I don’t know if it could be used as a dirty word, I’ve never heard guys say, “man, did you check out her bosom? It was hot. She has a hot bosom.”

I can’t even think of a way to use it that would be offensive.

Either way, I think it is a great word, and I’m bringing it back. Not nearly enough people use bosom anymore. It’s right up there with boobies.

It's certainly better than some alternatives that I've heard before.

Hot or Not?

What can I say, I was curious. I been deciding which pictures to post on my dating profile and this is my favourite one. What do you think?

Check This guy out

My friend Amanda send this to me in an email and I had to post it.

Being a magician, this really interests me. I might be able to start something like this too. I used to do magic for the Ronald McDonald House in Winnipeg when I lived there, maybe I could do that in the children's ward here too. It's definately something to think about. When I move back to Winnipeg in January, I'll maybe be able to do something like that again.

November 23

I wear a ring on my right hand. It is on my fourth finger, right beside my pinky ring. On the inside of my finger, I have a callus because I wear it so much. As a matter of fact, I have worn off all of the grip at the base of my finger, leaving it very smooth. It is a black onyx with a solid gold back. I never take it off.

This ring was given to me on my 16th birthday by my Aunt Donna. It was the ring that my Uncle Jay wore every day. I don’t even recall him not having it, I always remember him wearing it.

Today was my Uncle Jay's Birthday. He died 11 years ago. My aunt Donna was married to him for 11 years, it's weird to think that he has been gone longer than the two of them were married. My Uncle Jay was an amazing man, and I miss him dearly. I know that he is watching over me in my life and I know that he prays for me and my well being.

It is days like this in my adult life that I wonder what he was like in his adulthood. I always had a child – adult relationship with him. Now knowing the wonderful relationship I have with my other family members, I wonder what he would have been like to be friends with on a more equal level.

I wonder how I am going to live my life. I wonder how I am going to be regarded by the ones that I love when I’m gone. If I am half the uncle to Carson and Davis that my uncle was for me, then I will have lead a successful life.

I know that I carry many of his traits. His stubbornness I’ve inherited, his quick witt, and his wide shoulders. But I also have his heart, his honesty and integrity. I thank him for those things, and thank him for being such a wonderful uncle to me. I have been blessed in life for having known him.

I miss you Uncle Jay, and I love you with all my heart.

What does it mean to be Catholic?

If you look up the word “Catholic” in the dictionary, you will read different meanings of the word. The most common definition would be “belonging to or characteristic of the Catholic Church.” That’s pretty straight forward, I would think that most people would agree with that definition. When you think of a Catholic, you think of someone who goes to that church and believes in the Catholic Catechism.

But is that all there is to being Catholic? Is Catholicism based on a system of beliefs? Is a Catholic merely someone who goes to church every Sunday? Is a Catholic someone who prays, and takes the sacraments?

There is another definition. Catholic: Adjective: "All inclusive, or including or concerned with all people." I think that this is just as important as believing in the practices of the church. I think this is a more accurate description of what a catholic is. More and more I meet people who tell me that they are Catholic but do not value the same values that I hold dear, but more importantly, people do not treat others with the respect, dignity and love that Christ would have wanted us to.

I feel that you cannot just go to church every Sunday and say a few prayers and call yourself a Catholic. It is not enough to simply pray for the well being of others, pray for the sick, pray for the homeless. It is not enough to tell others about how good you are and how you love God. Loving God isn’t about words, it’s about action. Loving God is about Loving your neighbour. Talk is cheap and in abundance.

Being Catholic is about taking action. Giving to the needy. Visiting the sick. Living a life that Jesus wanted us to lead. Treating our fellow man with dignity and respect. Being honourable, being someone who can be trusted. Nowadays there are too many people who lie and cheat but still consider themselves to be Catholics because they go to church every Sunday, but then disregard the practices. But if asked, "oh yes, I am Catholic. "

Don’t get me wrong, I’m certainly not a perfect man, nor would I be considered to be a good catholic. I certainly fall off the wagon, but I don’t pretend to be something I’m not. I don’t lie about who I am, and I repent for the wrongdoings that I’ve done and pray for God’s mercy. It is not my place to judge others, but I have a tough time seeing the value in someone whose acts contradict their words. How can I see the value in people who cannot be trusted, someone who doesn’t show love towards mankind? How do I show love and kindness towards people whose words completely contract their actions?

awe...

My nephew was having trouble sleeping, so Uncle Jon came up with a more comfortable sleeping position for him.

He was zonked out.

January Schedule

I’ve finished enrolling in my classes and here’s my schedule:

Monday, Wednesday and Friday:

9:30 – 10:30 Economics of Public Health Policy
10:30 – 11:30 Philosophy of Business Ethics
11:30 – 12:30 Political Economics and world growth

Tuesday & Thursday:

10:00 – 11:30 Economics of Energy consumption
1:00 – 2:30 Philosophy of Language

I’m also taking Computer Usage 1 via the internet. I was going to take it first year at UofM, but it was way too easy so I didn't take it. But now that I need an elective, I'm taking it because it's way too easy... There are 6 assignments all dealing with word processing and spreadsheets. I am thinking that I'll be done the assignments by February.

We'll see if I have to eat my words...

University plans coming together

Well, I’ve been accepted into residence, and I’ve also revamped my classes. I dropped my British Empiricism class and picked up philosophy of business ethics. It was not available before because the management faculty had filled it up, but apparently there are a few drop outs. Hee hee hee

I’m going to be requiring two more classes then originally expected because the transfer credit department has chosen no to accept two of my classes from Mount Allison, so I’m going to take 18 credits. My other class will probably be a computer usage course, or anthropology. I haven’t decided yet.

Great Weekend

I went back home for the long weekend and had a great time. My sister was home because she was having a shower one of her friends who is getting married on new years. While my sister was getting prepped for the shower, a few of my friends and I had a scavenger hunt. Here’s a few things that were on our list of things to get…

- a picture of a chicken sandwich
- picture dancing at a bar on a stage
- a picture of someone sitting in the snow with no pants on at a historical location
- a picture of being chased by a stranger
- a speeding ticket
- a black eye (note, if you were really efficient, you could have done these three all at once)
- a picture of livestock
- downing 4 red bulls with vodka
- picture dancing 80s style with a stranger
- picture with livestock
- picture with someone over 60
- picture with Tranberg. (Tranberg is a 21 year old who was having a huge party that night, that we were way too old to attend)


My folks made it home safe and sound, but rather tired. I have some pretty cute pictures holding baby Davis from this weekend (and from the scavenger hunt) that I’ll post once she sends them to me.

A Psalm for those travelling in the next couple of weeks

Here is a psalm for anyone travelling in an airplane the next couple of weeks. My parents are returning from Florida this weekend, and I have some good friends going to Florida next weekend as well.

God, please protect the ones I love while they travel, and allow them safe passage home.

A Song of Ascent — Psalm 121

I lift up my eyes to the hills.
What is the source my help?
My help comes from the Lord,
Maker of the heavens and the earth.
God will not allow you to stumble, Your Guardian will not slumber.
Indeed, the Guardian of Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps.
The Lord is your Guardian, your shelter at your side.
The sun will not smite you by day nor the moon by night.
The Lord will guard you against all evil;
God will guard you, body and soul.
The Lord will guard your going out
and your coming home, now and forever.

OMalley

An Irishman named O'Malley went to his doctor after a long illness. The
doctor sighed and looked O'Malley in the eye and said, "I've some bad
news for you. You have cancer and it can't be cured. You'd best put
your affairs in order."

O'Malley was shocked but being a solid character, he managed to compose
himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room, where
his son was waiting. "Well son, we Irish celebrate when things are good
and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things
aren't so well.


I have cancer. Let's head to the pub and have a few pints. After 3 or 4
pints the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs
and some more beers. They were eventually approached by some of
O'Malley's friends, who were curious as to what the two were
celebrating. O'Malley told them they were drinking to his impending
end. He told his friends, "I have been diagnosed with AIDS." The
friends gave O'Malley their condolences, and they had a couple more
beers.

After the friends left, O'Malley's son leaned over and whispered his
confusion. "Dad, I thought you told me that you were dying of cancer,
and you just told your friends that you were dying of AIDS!".

O'Malley said, "I don't want any of them sleeping with your mother after I am gone."

Tracy K Makes an appearance.

A very dear friend of mine has made her first blog.

Congrates Trace (or Meridith if you will)

Check it out here...

I read this and had to post it!

"Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn."
-- Fulton J. Sheen

A place to live a place to live!

I just got accepted into the brand spankin' new residence in Winnipeg. I no longer have to worry where I will reside in January. Another thing off my plate! YAY

Wal-Mart, Friend or Foe?

Macleans wrote a very interesting article about Wal-Mart which I encourage all to read here.

I am not a Wal-Mart supporter, I believe Wal-Mart to be a small town killer, and not a small town supporter. Don’t get me wrong, I am a capitalist to the core, and I would love to meet Sam Walton to shake the man’s hand. He had a vision and he followed through with it. Good for him.

A brief lesson on the Wal-Mart infrastructure. Wal-Mart is not a retail giant. They are the world’s largest Warehouser…

Think about that. Wal-Mart does not PAY for anything in its stores, they don’t pay for stock. Everything they sell is on consignment. EVERYTHING. Wal-Mart pays for the product when it is rung through the till.

This provides a large advantage for Wal-Mart. It does not ever need to “blow out inventory” nor does it matter if they have copious amount of stock, because none of their money is tied up in inventory. Cash flow does not present as much of a problem to Wal-Mart as it does smaller retailers.

As the world’s largest warehouser, Wal-Mart has a tremendous buying power. The prices are driven low because they are the largest buying group in the world. They have ability to supply one product over another, and get phenomenal margins of profit with extremely low retail prices.

Ironically, I agree with Carol. She wants to support her town, but not at the expense of the savings she gets by filling her car up with gas and taking a road trip into Moncton to buy groceries. Why should she jeopardize her potential savings just to spend money in her town? If they can’t match the prices of the warehouser giant, then that’s not her problem.

But what exactly is she saving? Oooh, I feel a math lesson coming on…

It is 95 miles between Miramichi and Moncton. If Carol is driving a typical family wagon, she will get roughly 15 miles to the gallon. On a round trip, she will burn about 12.6 gallons of Gasoline, which equates to 50.64 litres of fuel. And as of today, the price of gas in Miramichi was 98.9 cents/litre. So Carol spends approximately $52.00 just to go to Moncton for the day to save at Wal-Mart. As she says in the article, “the prices were just too good to pass up.”

Now these prices she speaks of… I would venture a guess that in general the savings between a regular retail store and Wal-Mart is between 5% & 25%. The average family spends approximately $500/month on groceries, and approximately $100/month on household goods. So, let’s say that $600/month or $150/week is spent at Wal-Mart. Taking the extreme end of the spectrum, let’s say that Wal-Mart has saved Carol 25%, which equates to roughly $38/week in savings. (and remember, this is very high end, I don’t believe Walmart reduces their prices that much, but I haven’t compared recently). These savings haven’t paid for her gas yet.

But… Carol will answer, we can make an outing of it. So, they go to a movie, the have dinner, and do other miscellaneous shopping. Whoopee. More money to spend.

I have a better idea. Why not spend the extra money, the $38 that would have been spent in Miramichi and save the money in gas. This way, you can save $14 / week, which if multiplied by 52 weeks in a year, equates to $728 / year. Then you can have a nicer outing rather than having some McDonalds in Moncton…

But this is a moot point because the Wal-Mart is already built in Miramichi. So, now there is no reason to buy at the local store when you can still support the town and buy product at the Wal-Mart. Oh, wait. Is this supporting the local economy?

I live in a town with a Wal-Mart. They do absolutely little to NO donating to local charity funcations in town. I’m not saying that they are not charitable, but they do not support the town nearly to the extent that other local smaller retailers do. Giving the money to a Wal-Mart does not give money to the community directly. Yes, I can agree that the Wal-Mart brings in the population and facilitates more money in the local economy in other stores. But the money that is spent at the Wal-Mart does not circulate in the town, it helps pay 5 of the top riches people in North America and helps pay for the purchasing of their pro teams.

I fully agree with Carol Foote’s opinion about Wal-Mart. Its prices are just too good for people to pass up, the retailers in town just charge too much for their product.

Or do they? What does Wal-Mart lack in the retail world? What did Sam Walton leave out in his master plan? It’s in a little 7 letter word called:

Service.

Have you ever tried returning something to a Wal-Mart? Have you ever tried to get help looking for a particular item in a Wal-Mart? Never mine that, have you ever tried to find one of those elusive sales associates? Once you find that blue vested buddy of yours, he or she rarely knows what it is you’re looking for.

When you deal at the local hardware store, or grocery store, you are given a very warm and fuzzy feeling by the owner. He comes up to you, remembers your name, and gets what you want and if you have a genuine complaint, he is there to listen. He’s there to listen to the illegitimate complaints too! His major concern is pleasing the customer, and that my friend is what Wal-Mart is how you beat Wal-Mart.

Small business owners are trying to compete where they can’t compete. They will never be bigger than Wal-Mart, they won’t ever have its buying power. They put themselves out of business by lowering their prices and decreasing their margins. Give the customer Ridiculous service so that they will never want to go to Wal-Mart again. Give the customer a warm fuzzy feeling so they aren't concerned about the price.

Cuteness to start the week

NAIROBI (AFP) - A baby hippopotamus that survived the tsunami waves
On the Kenyan coast has formed a strong bond with a giant male century-
Old tortoise, in an animal facility in the port city of Mombassa, officials said.
The hippopotamus, nicknamed Owen and weighing about 300 kilograms
(650 pounds), was swept down Sabaki River into the Indian Ocean, then
forced back to shore when tsunami waves struck the Kenyan coast
on December 26, before wildlife rangers rescued him.


It is incredible. A-less-than-a-year-old hippo has adopted a male
Tortoise, about a century old, and the tortoise seems to be very
happy with being a 'mother'," ecologist Paula Kahumbu, who is in charge of
Lafarge Park, told AFP.


After it was swept and lost its mother, the hippo was traumatized. It had to look for something to be a surrogate mother. Fortunately, it landed on the tortoise and established a strong bond. They swim, eat and
sleep together," the ecologist added. "The hippo follows the tortoise
exactly the way it follows its mother. If somebody approaches the tortoise, the
hippo becomes aggressive, as if protecting its biological mother,"
Kahumbu added. "The hippo is a young baby, he was left at a very tender age and by
nature, hippos are social animals that like to stay with their mothers for
four years," he explained.


Enjoy these pictures...

Slinky

Some people are like Slinkies.
They don't really have a purpose,
But they still bring a smile to your face
when you push them down the stairs.