Recipe

As many of you may know, I have had a number of successes with women because of my cooking. Now that I am no long in pursuit of a woman (or women for that matter), I feel that it would be a waste of my time if I didn’t have the opportunity to share some of my knowledge (that, I might add, was given to me graciously when I was out of high school by a good friend of mine). I have some friend that cannot cook to save her life, and apparently has ended up in tears over the matter (don't worry, I'm sure he still loves you even though you can't cook). I hope this guides you well.

Fettuccini Alfredo

(Tagline: “The Alfredo that will make you want to kiss me... only your breath would stink so bad that I wouldn’t kiss you.”)

Ingredients:

¼ Cup of Butter
2-6 Cloves of Fresh Garlic (you can never have enough garlic)
½ Pint of Whipping Cream (the equivalent of 50 ml, small box)
½ Cup of FRESH Parmesan Cheese, finely graded. (A mincer works well).
Pinch of Nutmeg
Pinch of Salt
Pinch of Pepper
Pasta (I have no idea how to measure pasta, I normally just eyeball it. Sorry, can’t help you with that one…)

Directions:

Crush the garlic with a garlic crusher. Melt the Butter with the garlic in a sauce pan on medium heat. (HINT: Put the garlic on the butter so that it doesn’t burn! Keep stirring until all of the butter has melted and begins to boil. Then add the cream. Keep the heat at medium heat and stir occasionally. The butter and the cream will not blend together until the sauce boils. Once it starts to boil, reduce it to low heat and start to slowly add the parmesan cheese. (HINT: Grab small amounts of cheese and sprinkle into the sauce between your fingers, then stir the cheese into the sauce. If you do it too quickly, the cheese will ball up in the sauce.) I never add the same amount of cheese, I just add until it tastes good.

Add some pepper, and a dash of salt. You don’t need much salt for this recipe. The pepper I tend to add a little more, just because that’s the way I do it. Then add about three quick pinches of nutmeg. (I don’t know what the difference is between a quick pinch and a slow pinch, but I feel that a slow pinch just wouldn’t taste quite right). I sometimes add more, it really adds flavour.

Once all that is done, then add it to your pasta. Cooking pasta is pretty straight forward, but I’ll give you one quick tip. If you are not sure when the pasta is done, bit it and then look along where you bit. If it isn’t ready, it will have a raw centre. Continue to bite the pasta until it’s cooked all the way through, because I don’t know the method of determining if you’ve overcooked the pasta.

Another pasta hint: When you strain the pasta, DO NOT WASH THE PASTA. REALLY REALLY BAD HABIT TO GET INTO. It washed out the flavour and makes the pasta “icky.”


There you go, this is the recipe that I used many a time to impress girls when we met. Ironically enough, I didn’t have to use this method of seduction for my Jackie, she loves me without stomache manipulation. :)

p.s. There are countless ways to spice up this recipe, here are my favourites:
Chicken
Shrimp (fried or boiled) (I have a great recipe for shrimp cocktail by the way)
Chunks of honey ham.

Or my favourite:

Throw in a Portabella mushroom. The key to a portabella mushroom is to buy a whole one, (not one that is prechopped). Then take a spoon and clean off the gills. The gills are sometimes bitter so it is better to just be rid of them.