"Me Mudder"

When each night me prayers were said,
who tucked me in me widdle bed?
Who spanked my seat 'til it was red?

. . . Me Mudder

Who took me from my cozy cot
And set me on the ice cold pot -
And made me pee - when I could not?

. . . Me Mudder

And when the morning light had come
And in my bed I dribbled some
Who wiped my tiny widdle bum?

. . . Me Mudder

Who did me hair so neatly part
And press me gently to her heart
And sometimes squeeze me 'til I fart?

. . . Me Mudder!

- Unknown