Why I swear!

My Baba passed away recently and we were going through her things and one of the things I found were a collection of books from Hazelden, a dry-out centre from the states that my Grandfather went to when I was a child. There was this insert in one of the books, and maybe it will help remind me why cursing is so unnecessary. (The sarcasm is fairly thick)

Why I swear:

1) It pleases my mother.

2) It is a fine mark of manliness.

3) It proves I have self-control.

4) It indicates how clearly my mind operates.

5) It makes my conversation so pleasing to everybody.

6) It leaves no doubt in anyone’s mind as to my good breeding.

7) It impresses people that I have more than ordinary education.

8) It is an unmistakable sign of culture and refinement.

9) It makes me a very desirable personality among women, children, and respectable society.

10) It is my way of honouring God.